The death of a celebrity or “personality” is often presented by the media as it is in the movies – in a Hallmark moment, a perfectly coiffed and expertly made up loved one lies in bed. Well dressed and well-behaved family members crowd around the bed, murmuring poignant good byes. Well, certainly, reality is a bit grittier than that.
When Elizabeth Edwards died this past week, the media reported that her home was filled with family and friends, gathered to say their goodbyes. Okay – so we don’t really know what happened in those last moments.
But what we do know is that Elizabeth Edwards acknowledged that her death was imminent. She knew that she was dying so she turned her mind to preparing herself, and her children. Ms. Edwards began to write letters to her children, letters which she acknowledged would “never be done”. In those letters, she would leave her last thoughts, try to impart advice and humor, encouragement and insight.
Who knows what those letters contain...the finer points of etiquette, how to tip at the holidays? Encouragement to love your siblings and forgive your father? One thing Ms. Edwards did tell us that the letters contained was how to choose a church. Now, there’s a beautiful legacy to your children - how to choose the community that will support them through their mother’s death, house their weddings in future years, offer a retreat when life intrudes, become a haven when life cheats them, serve as the place that restores hope and implores forgiveness.
Here at the Big Hoopla, we’re big church people. We attend, we volunteer, we study, we believe. Of course, it hasn’t always been like that. One of us fell away from the church for years – and it showed. When we had reached the end of our proverbial rope, we went on what we called a ‘church crawl’ – not as much boozy fun as a pub crawl, certainly, but an interesting journey, nonetheless. Six churches and several years later, we landed at the First Presbyterian in Hooplaville. Never one to wade in slowly, we jumped in, became a member one month and a Deacon six months later. Now we’re happily immersed in the church community once again, unable to clearly remember why it was we wandered off.
Still we’re not sure what we’d tell our children about choosing a church. What would you tell your kids? What advice would you give your kids if you knew this really was your last chance to do that?
And if choosing a church seems like too big a step for you right now, consider trying the Big Hoopla series, “Starting a Relationship with God”. It’s a simple way to take some tentative steps toward a positive journey. And then we can talk about how to choose a church.
